Vindicating countless racists, Islamophobes and conspiracy theorists, President Barack Obama, pictured above in some of his many disguises, admitted today that he is indeed a Muslim, a terrorist, gay, a Unitarian, and that yes, he plans to take your guns. Laughing maniacally as he considered that 72% of those reading this article would not know what a Unitarian was, Obama outlined his plans to take all of your money and give it to who can spell the word “redistribute”. Further evil schemes include outlawing heterosexual marriage, Christianity and college football.
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