We’ve passed another innocuous, non-religiously based holiday and are heading towards another one with pagan origins, providing fundamentalists yet another opportunity to be killjoys. But rest assured, all of our Christmas traditions are firmly rooted in the bible. Like Christmas stockings. Everybody knows that the Jesus family was so poor that they wore out their socks on the trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem and that on Christmas morning the kindly innkeeper, regretting his infamous “no room at the inn” proclamation, quietly broke into their lodging and hung warm socks on the mantelpiece. Poinsettias are another venerable Christmas tradition with biblical foundations. According to ancient texts, Poinsett was the fourth wise man, running late due to camel problems. Distraught that all the good gifts (gold, frankincense and myrrh) were taken, he stopped at the local florist and began a new tradition.
Christmas trees also enjoy a biblical pedigree. The oft mentioned “cedars of Lebanon” is a mistranslation of a Hebrew phrase that means “plastic green tree with cheap lights”.
So don’t be dismayed when you hear your pagan, secular humanist or atheist neighbors claiming that your cherished Christmas traditions originate in paganism, just tell them that Ill-Gotten Booty said it ain’t so.
Christmas trees also enjoy a biblical pedigree. The oft mentioned “cedars of Lebanon” is a mistranslation of a Hebrew phrase that means “plastic green tree with cheap lights”.
So don’t be dismayed when you hear your pagan, secular humanist or atheist neighbors claiming that your cherished Christmas traditions originate in paganism, just tell them that Ill-Gotten Booty said it ain’t so.
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