Top Ten Economic Downturn Job Titles

In hard economic times, businesses sometimes offer benefits “in lieu of salary” - in other words, we can’t pay you any more, but we have this lovely smoke that we want to blow up your ***.

10. Consumable Transportation Operator: cart shagger
9. Information Coordinator: temp who delivers the morning newspaper and inter-departmental mail
8. Nutritional Unit Distributor: deli counter clerk
7. Senior Advertising Specialist: old guy who hangs the signs on the marquee outside
6. VP of Customer Relations: aisle greeter
5. Food Consultant: you’d think it was somebody with an advanced degree, wouldn’t you?
4. On-Site Fiduciary Collection Agent: cashier
3. Ni...well, you know.
2. Assistant Store Director: yes, it is a mystery
1. Waste Sanitation Engineer: in charge of cleaning the bathrooms