Financially strapped and unable to pay its outstanding debts, the U.S. Post Office has announced a ten point plan to regain solvency:
1. Have a bake sale.
2. Combine trash pickup and mail delivery services into one. Should save time.
3. Bring back the Pony Express for out of town deliveries.
4. Have all postmasters sell their gold teeth.
5. Declare birthday cards a terrorist threat and bring in the National Guard
6. Night Crew
7. Tell Congress that the Post Office is really a bank and collect bailout money.
8. Discontinue delivery to people with “funny names”.
9. Declare that email is under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Postal Service and charge 42¢ for each email sent.
10. Hire back all those carriers who were fired for stockpiling undelivered mail in their garages, apparently they had the right idea.
1. Have a bake sale.
2. Combine trash pickup and mail delivery services into one. Should save time.
3. Bring back the Pony Express for out of town deliveries.
4. Have all postmasters sell their gold teeth.
5. Declare birthday cards a terrorist threat and bring in the National Guard
6. Night Crew
7. Tell Congress that the Post Office is really a bank and collect bailout money.
8. Discontinue delivery to people with “funny names”.
9. Declare that email is under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Postal Service and charge 42¢ for each email sent.
10. Hire back all those carriers who were fired for stockpiling undelivered mail in their garages, apparently they had the right idea.
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