Bush Actually Cardboard Cutout

“Vice-President” Dick Cheney announced today that what we thought was President George W. Bush was a carefully devised scam by the nation’s comedians to keep them supplied with material. “Eight years ago” Cheney explained. “Al Gore really won the election.” Gore and Lieberman have in reality been serving as President and Vice-President for the past eight years, but since all outgoing communications from the White House have been rerouted to a small shack on Johnson Atoll in the Pacific Ocean, Gore & Lieberman were unaware of the stunt. What we thought of as “The President” was actually actor Josh Brolin reading carefully prepared scripts. The real George W. Bush lives in his parents’ basement listening to Howard Stern on satellite radio and smoking pot. The good news is that there really is no war in Iraq and there never has been a country called Afghanistan.