Since I was busy being hung over on January 1st, and subsequently lost my calendar on the 2nd, I am just now getting around to the year end review that should have been ready to go on December 31st. It was an historic year in many ways. Here are some of the top stories:
· Police in Lincoln traded in their bicycles for Segways. Apparently racing around in shorts after midnight on Friday & Saturday nights wasn’t humiliating enough.
· Chad, the poofy-haired Alltel wireless spokesman, despondent that Alltel was bought out by Verizon wireless, held the red-haired geek hostage by holding a cell phone to his head, threatening to “bake his brain” with the dangerous microwave radiation
· Hustler Magazine & Girls Gone Wild asked the government for a 5 million dollar bailout package
· The City of Lincoln built a bridge in the downtown area that didn’t actually go over anything. It set flat on the ground. They subsequently dug under the bridge.
· Gas prices mysteriously dipped below $2.00 per gallon. No one said a word about it, concerned that they would “jinx” it. Television and radio commercial continue to refer to high gas prices.
· Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus (yup, he named his daughter “Miley”) posed in what appeared to be nothing but a bedsheet. Sarah Palin was heard to remark that she could see Cyrus’ butt from her house.
All of the above items, other than one sentence are true. Hopefully, 2009 will be just as exciting and strange as 2008.
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