Religion in the News

Fanatics from Nebraska's largest fringe religion have been working themselves into a lather (what precisely do you have to do to work yourself into a lather?) over their High Holy Days that commence this coming weekend. Excitement is palpable (yes, you will need a dictionary if you're going to read this) over the appointment of a new prophet and a new high priest; large quantities of mind-altering substances will be ingested in the hope that the last several years will be forgotten. Thousands of these wild-eyed worshippers will congregate in their outdoor temple to chant and pray. What is this sect of which I speak? Why, it's none other than the State Religion of Nebraska: University of Nebraska (at Lincoln) football! Nebraska fans have long seemed to me as dogmatic and resistant to reason or evidence as the most convinced of the faithful God fans. For years Husker dominance was seen as a fact of life, a law of nature, as obvious as the law of Gravity, losses were explained away by bad officiating and criminal actions by players winked at (boys will be boys ya know). But then, in an effort to steer the program back in what was described as "the right direction", a winning coach was unceremoniously fired and replaced by a coach who consistantly lost, presenting two losing seasons to the acolytes of Huskerdom. And it took four years to figure out that a mistake had been made. As someone who enjoys rooting against the Corn Dogs, it just wasn't fun any more. laughing at a Husker loss was likely to get me beat up, or provoke the hapless Husker fan into tears or a deep depression. Who wants to kick someone when they're down? That's just not any fun. Now let them win a few, then lose the big ones. Now that will be fun!